Good People of Lewisham…..Voting is pretty simple really , ask yourself the question – Are you , your family and your neighborhood better off than it was the last time you voted . It was that great Loony, Albert Einstein that said “Insanity is doing the same thing over again and expecting different results” ??
We pledge to fight this By-election on an invisible platform so that people cannot see the floors in our policies.
Social Housing : We will continue to support and invest in our Public houses as they are the social meeting places in society. We will help to reduce binge drinking by allowing the pubs to open 36 hours a day.
We propose to prevent identity theft instantly by calling everyone Chris. ?
We will redevelop Playgrounds in Lewisham for all age groups.
The Civil Service will be extended to all branches of government, because a little politeness goes a long way.?
Carrier bags will be replaced by the more environmentally friendly Pigeon. This will also allow the owner to partake in one of the UK’s long lost pastimes.
To increase Jobs and wealth to the people of Lewisham….Once in power we will declare Lewisham independent from Westminster and convert Lewisham to an inshore Tax Haven
The British Museum should have a Daddy’s section alongside the current Mummy exhibition.??
We will rename the current Oyster cards, ‘Sardine Cards’ to better reflect the experience when travelling on public transport
We will only paint yellow lines where you CAN park, this will save the UK thousands of pounds every day. Potholes deeper than 3 inches will be marked with a yellow plastic duck .??
All political and electoral leaflets will be printed on soft paper so that it may be recycled in the appropriate manner. ???
In an effort to reduce the problems faced by the NHS , it is proposed to reduce pregnancy from nine to seven months ???
We propose to relocate the Lewisham to the countryside so that it’s residents can enjoy fresher air.??
To protect pets and people of a nervous disposition we would introduce silent fireworks .??
We will combat corruption in public life by taking part in it openly, we will also introduce the Board of Bribery who will set standardised rates?
Published by Mr R.U.Seerius on behalf of the Official Monster Raving Loony Party
Our Illustrious and stalwart party leader Alan ‘Howling Laud’ Hope is the obvious choice to be Lewisham East’s next MP. Howling is a familiar face on the political scene having previously fought 21 Parliamentary seats against Teresa May, David Cameron, Boris Johnson and many others. He is feeling jubilant as he has just been returned to serve on his local ‘Fleet Town Council’ Hampshire for another four years. This is his third win for this seat.
He has previously been the Town Mayor, Chairman of the Council, Lord of the Borough for Ashburton, Devon 1998 – 2000, and Ashburton Town Councillor for 13 years. So he has a lot to offer the people of Lewisham East. All these elections have been achieved on a ‘Loony Party’ ticket. If you don’t usually vote, then vote unusually, vote Loony. Remember the only wasted vote is one that’s not used.
>>Check out this article in ‘Medium.com’ – An online magazine<<
Howling ‘Laud’ Hope – Mob 07946292557
Heidi Alexander, a Labour MP, stood down yesterday to become the London deputy Mayor for Transport. She is vacating her Lewisham East seat.
The ‘Official Monster Raving Loony Party’ will be contesting this seat, in the shape of their well seasoned parliamentary candidate, party leader, Howling ‘Laud’ Hope. His running mate, agent, will be Trevor Allman, more commonly known as Lord Halfperson. He very recently stood in the recent local council elections in Blackheath Greenwich, polling 106 votes. Howling ‘Laud’ Hope however was returned to his local Town Council in Fleet, Hampshire, with an overwhelming amount of unopposed votes, for the third time running.
Nobody knows when this will happen yet, but keep an eye on www.loonyparty.com for regular updates. We are all looking forward to it with great anticipation, and Looniversal Sensibilism! Remember – The only wasted vote is one that’s not used!
The Howling ‘Laud’.
Farmin’ Lord Dave – Denton South – 206
Trevor Allman – Blackheath Greenwich -106
Chinners – Chessington North – 82
Howling Laud – Hart District – 60
Baron Badger – Walton North – 38
Monkey – Molesey East – 22
Although he didn’t make Hart District Council, ‘Howling Laud’ did retain his seat for another 4 years, with an overwhelming unopposed vote on Fleet Town Council.
Well done to all of you who actually stood, and a very big thank you to all those that voted for us. There was not one seat that had more than a 40% turn out, so 50% wasted votes. Imagine if they had all voted for us? The only wasted vote is one that’s not used. Looking
at it that way, if voting was made compulsory, I’d like to think that we’d
probably win – And that’s probably why it’s not!!!
A drink on me for all contestants at the conference and a bottle of wine for the outright winner, Farmin’ Lord Dave!
The Howling ‘Laud’
Chinners has installed a replica ‘Practice voting’ booth in the HQ, Cricketers pub in Chessington.
The idea, as explained in the booth, is to show people how easy it is to vote and of course has our strapline ‘THE ONLY WASTED VOTE IS ONE THAT ISN’T USED’
This is a list of our candidates in the May local elections:
- Howling ‘Laud’ Hope, our Party Leader was elected unopposed to the Fleet Town Council on Friday 6th April, 4 weeks almost before the official election on 3rd May. – And on May 3rd he will additionally be standing for the Hart District Council in the Fleet Central Ward.
- ‘Farming Lord Dave’ (Pictured) – Denton South Ward Metropolitan Borough Council
- Lord Halfperson – Blackheath Westcombe Ward, Greenwich
- Badger – Walton North, Elmbridge, Surrey
- Monkey the Drummer – Molesey East, Elmbridge, Surrey
- Chinners – Chessington North & Hook, Kingston upon Thames, Surrey
Chinners has arranged his Victory celebrations with ‘Jump the Gun‘ performing on Wed 2nd May at the Cricketers pub, 81 Clayton Road, Chessington.
Badger and Monkey the Drummer will be holding their Victory Party at The Oak pub, Walton Road, West Molesey on Thurs 3rd May with Crucial Chris Dowling and MOJO Crew leading the victory celebrations.
Joe Jammer may appear at either of these events!
I was both honoured and delighted to represent this great party of ours on a ‘Question Time’ style event at the University of Westminster’s Portland Hall, Wednesday 21st. March 2018.
The guest speakers included:
- Shelly Asquith – Political Advisor for Unite the Union, Former NUS VP and Youth Coordinator for Corbyn’s leadership campaign.
- Paul Canal – Conservative Party Deputy Chair of London Region and Leader of the Conservative Group on Redbridge Council.
- Kevin Sefton – Prospective Parliamentary Candidate for the Liberal Democrats in Westminster.
- Freddy Vachha – UKIP London Chairman and Former Parliamentary Candidate.
- ‘Mad Mike’ Young – Official Monster Raving Loony Party Shadow Minister for Beer.
The pre-arranged questions were:
- Do you think that Theresa May’s response and subsequent decisions to the Salisbury situation are adequate?
- Given the recent revelations surrounding Cambridge Analytica and Facebook, is it time that we regulate social media companies more, particularly in reference to political campaigns?
- After the government’s announcement of an NHS pay rise, should all public sector workers now receive one also?
- This event is taking place in a university, how do you and your party view the £9,000 annual university fees and the monumental debt students hold once they’ve graduated?
- Is the Brexit transitional arrangement a satisfactory answer to the Northern Ireland border issue?
- Given the rise in All Women Shortlists, how relevant is the implementation of so-called ‘positive discrimination’ for minorities in today’s society?
The audience, mainly students, were exceptionally well-behaved and rather subdued if anything. But the biggest response of the night was for an answer by yours truly! To the question about student fees and debt my reply was to abolish fees and waive all debts, instead issuing each student with a bursary of one million pounds. I flourished a fan of our famous million pound notes and asked them to form a queue. This was met with thunderous applause, cheering and whooping, so we can honestly say that our Party was the winner on the night.