A tribute to Lord Sutch by Mike Stone

The 3rd Earl of Harrow was a well-known statesman whose inspiration came directly from our School. His entry can be found in Wikipedia. This confirms that David Edward Sutch (1940-1999), 3rd Earl of Harrow, was also known as Screaming Lord Sutch, a lead singer with his own band, and founder of the Monster Raving Loony Party.
Sutch was recognisable at election counts by his crazy clothes and top hat. He added “Lord” to his name by deed poll. In the 1980’s they raised the deposit paid by Parliamentary candidates to £500 from £150, but this did nothing to deter him. His highest poll was in Rotherham in 1994, with 4.2 % of the vote. He stood and lost in more than 40 Parliamentary elections, a record.
I acquired Lord Sutch’s home address from his bass player. He lived with his mum at the foot of Harrow Hill. I cold-called this statesman at his home and he told me that the inspiration for his career came from seeing Winston Churchill, when Prime Minister in the 1950’s, being driven up the Hill, to attend Harrow Songs.
Like Churchill, Sutch’s policies were radical. He wanted the rate of VAT raised, to increase the value of everything. To secure data, he wanted it all stored in the PM’s underpants drawer. Quitters would be encouraged not to start in the first place. Cars would be made more economic by fitting bungy ropes for return journeys. To reduce colour prejudice, grey squirrels would be painted red. Air bags would be fitted to the Exchequer in preparation for the next crash. The Defence Department would economise on shoe leather by making squaddies march longer paces. The NHS would economise by having X-ray machines manned by a skeleton staff. Class divides would be reduced by making the entire House of Lords speak Mockney. A Frivolous Fraud Office would be established to lighten the load on the Serious Fraud Office. Greyhound racing will be subsidised to stop the country going to the dogs.
I asked David Sutch if I could be his Education Minister in his forthcoming government, and he gave me that position right there on his mum’s doorstep. But I was shocked and surprised when he sacked me the following week in favour of the boxer, Frank Bruno. As an MA in PPE, I should have seen it coming.
At a party we gave in Holland Park in 1993, I proudly introduced Lord Sutch to Lord Merlin Sudeley, an equally singular politician. You can see each of them speaking on Youtube.
Inspired by Sutch, I stood in the Newbury By Election in 1993, on the ticket GIVE THE ROYAL BILLIONS TO SCHOOLS. This was the annis horribilis for the Royals, with Diana, Fergie and Charles running amok. I adjudged that to be bad form. And I got a great number of votes, a fine achievement, considering I was fighting against 18 other candidates, in the ‘Royal’ county of Berkshire, did no canvassing, and organised only one interview, that of my wife, The Hon, holding forth as my Education Spokesperson, though she had never been to school, being taught by nuns.
The full result of that bye-election, including Sutch’s and my total of votes, can be found in Wikipedia, under Newbury By-Election 1993. Of course Sutch defeated me, as he always did. Yet I much regret the passing of the 3rd Earl. I am glad that he is buried so near Harrow, in Pinner Cemetery.
His music, by the way, was also revolutionary. He employed a drummer with no sense of rhythm at all.
Mike Stone, Moretons 1957/2

Foreign Policy

We will Admit Shamima Begum back to the country only when she accepts Screaming Lord Sutch as her saviour.

Ministry of Info

We will create a New Ministry of Information. It shall consist of the former board of directors of Cambridge Analytica. They already know everything.

Brexit Proposals

We will Send Noel Edmonds to negotiate Brexit because he understands Deal or No Deal.
There will be no need for a backstop to the Brexit negotiations. We’ll have Alec Stewart as wicket-keeper.
James Wallace

Local Elections 2nd May 2019

There will be a round of local elections in various places around Great Britain on Thursday 2nd May. If you are considering standing on behalf of the ‘Raving Loony Party’ remember you can’t just do it, you have to get permission from the party with relevant papers. Nomination papers must be returned on or before 4th April. I shall not be here to endorse you as I shall be in Malta all through March. Nick Delves, The Flying Brick is to be my acting Nomination Officer in my absence. His no is 07973 324985, he will talk you through and help with anything that your not sure of.

Howling ‘Laud’ Hope
Nominating Officer and Party Leader.

Loony Party Conference 2019

After much speculation and arranging to have this years conference down South, and not coming up with the right answers, we have decided to go back to Belper in Derbyshire once more. With the kind permission of Craig the landlord of the George and Dragon, the scene of last years ‘Belter in Belper’. Those of you that were there, will remember how great it was, and how wonderful the people were. Lets see if we can top that this year, I expect we can, or have a good laugh trying.
No definite entertainment has been fixed as yet, only the dates Thurs 26-27-28th September, although once again I shall be there as from Thurs 19th, so if you want to make a week of it, you won’t be on your own. So don’t leave booking yourself in to late, as some did last year, there is plenty of accommodation around if you book early. More info as it unfolds. I’m off to Malta now until 1st April, so will be in touch again on my return.
Howling ‘Laud’ Hope – Party Leader.

Dr Diablo in Blackpool

‘Dr Diablo and the Rodent show’.
If you’re near Blackpool on Saturday you should go and see them . . .

99p coin minting error

An error in the 2018 conference write up in the Wetherspoon Magazine. The article states I produced the 99p coin, when in fact it was Tony Blythe, the Jersey Flyer, our party chairman that minted these coins out in Jersey. He handed me one when I started talking about them, so it appeared I already had one. The fact that the 99p coin idea went down so well, was because of his quick thinking. Thank you Tony.
Howling Laud Hope