The 36th Monster Raving Loony Party Conference

Taking place at The George and Dragon, 117 Bridge Street, Belper, DE56 1BA
Thurs 26-Fri 27- Sat 28th Sept.

Line-up of activities as follows.
Thursday/Fri. Meet and greet and discuss possible future policies.

Friday. Gareth Icke – the son of David, Live from Chicago via London, the world famous, Mr Joe Jammer -it’s his birthday, Gripper & the Gurnards, and Badaxe – Britain’s most banned act!

Saturday. Meet 12 noon for town walkabout, (Pub Crawl) spreading the word including occasional live dancing from the famous Black Pig Border Morris. Then back to HQ for our World renown cabinet reshuffle, before our Illustrious leader’s speech. Then on with the show, Man Pant, The Big Fibbers, BB Black Dog. Followed by our main attraction, the fabulous, ‘Dr Diablo and the Rodent’ show.

Plenty of accommodation in Belper if you look around. Camping on ‘Dale’s Estate’ call Dale Rowle’s Mob: 07799 462891 – Landline: 01773 822205.
We will also be celebrating our leader, Howling ‘Laud’ Hope on becoming Britain’s longest serving party leader of 20 yrs. As previously mentioned, I shall be at The George and Dragon as from Thurs 19th Sept, so if you want to make a week of it, you won’t be alone.
See you all there with your silliest head on.
The Howling ‘Laud’ Party Leader.

Conference: Do You Wanna Be A Record Breaker?

The Official Monster Raving Loony Party & guests will be attempting to set a new WORLD record at our 2019 Conference. We are proud to be representing Great Britain in our attempt to take the title from the current World Record Holders in the U.S.A. On 17th May  2015 at the ‘Bay to Breakers’ road race in San Francisco, California, 97 people set a world record for the largest kazoo rendition of “Eye of the Tiger.” We are hopeful that at least 100 Loonys & Guests will set a new world record at the Conference. We are Kazooing for Great Britain. . . Kazoo’s will be supplied but feel welcome to bring your own. We will also be setting a new British record: The Most People To Play The Cuckoo Song (Laurel & Hardy theme) On A Kazoo in The George & Dragon. Other Kazoo based records may be attempted.

Brecon and Radnorshire roundup

Lily writes:
Well there you have it , by-election done and dusted . . . And guess what? WE BEAT UKIP! By a lot! A surge of loony support, giving Lady Lil 334 votes +1% to UKIPs 242.
Screaming Lord Sutch beat the SDP back in the 1990 Bootle by-election and that saw their demise. Maybe this is the final nail in the UKIP coffin?
I’ve had an absolute blast this last 5 weeks, I’ve met amazing people, dished out my fair share of cwtches (Welsh hugs), I’ve sung and danced with people in the streets. It’s been awesome. People on the whole are ordinarily extraordinary, and I find that totally wonderful.
My aim was to get people out to vote when they might otherwise have not. I can happily declare my mission accomplished as the by-election turnout was 59.72 %
The Lib-Dems knocked the Tories out but by a surprisingly slim margin seeing as they ran with the disgraced candidate who had recently been found guilty of forging invoices for his expense claim and had lost a recall petition with 19% veto.
Lily ended by saying “right, where are my meds? Stick me in a tent in a field and let me sleep for three days” . . . And as far as we know that’s where she is . . .

Lady Lily the Pink

 

Howling writes:
‘Brecon Beckoned’, and we were there in all our glory. I arrived at our Welsh Party HQ, ‘The Neuadd Arms Hotel’, in Llanwrtyd Wells, which is within the constituency, on Sunday 28th July. Very surprised do be told “we are holding a welcoming party tonight”. Lady Lily the Pink our candidate excelled herself, along with other Welsh Party members. Monday saw myself with Lily and John, canvassing Llandridnod Wells and Knighton. They dropped me off in middle of the towns, I canvassed the public houses whilst they went leaflet dropping, it works well that way. Monday evening saw us at a Hustings in Presteign, 250-300 people, guess who the star of the show was, yes, of course, it was our Lily. Lily went to Brecon on Tuesday and delivered her last 200 leaflets all on her own, whilst I once again did the local public houses of Llanwrtyd. Wednesday was a rest day before the storm.

Election Day Thursday 1st, we all mustered up at the HQ to head of to Builth Wells where the count was held. Chris Rogers, party Member, aka Lord Offa of the Dykes, had arranged for our pre election victory party to be in the ‘Barley Mow’ in Builth. Whereupon we were joined by The Flying Brick, Mr R.U. Seerius, and Lady Hell ’n Bak for the final proceedings. Thirteen of us proceeded to the count at the ‘Builth Showground’. Wow, what a reception, the whole worlds cameras were waiting for us. Lily once again was the star of the show.

Lily and I walked in together, the cameras wouldn’t stop clicking. Political counts always look forward to our ‘Loony Party’ entrance, and do we know how to do that.
Great chat and banter throughout the parade, a lot of the usual suspects there. All wanting to congratulate Lily on the way that she had conducted her campaign. She certainly was a Loony Party credit, was the words I heard on more than one occasion. I can vouch for that having been with her for a week, an amazing show.
Not all over yet, the result. The place erupted when it was finally announced that Lily had beaten UKIP. Wow what a result. They will probably pack up now, as Dr David Owen’s SDP did in Bootle in 1990 when we beat them.

Saturday night the HQ held a meet and greet party. Come and meet Britain’s longest serving political party leader of 20 years. A very special oil painting commissioned by Anna-Lisa Coleman was presented to me on behalf of all our Welsh Loony Party members. I must admit I was quite overwhelmed and honoured!

All in all a wonderful performance, thanks to all our Welsh Loony’s, especially Anna-Lisa, Hugo Shovit, Dana minister for Fiddles, Craig, Lindsay and team at the Neuadd and all the fantastic people of Llanwrtyd.

Howling ‘Laud’ Hope
Loony Party Leader.

 

 

Lord Brockman round-up

A by-Election was called for Evesham Town Council (South Ward) when the Conservative candidate, who had been elected in May, resigned immediately. Does that sound familiar? It’s not the first time the so called serious parties have ‘borrowed’ a Loony idea . Two elections in 12 weeks and polling day the hottest in UK history, saw a very low turn out of just 13.7%.
I stood as a candidate with the conviction to nod, the courage to point and the experience to cram buzzwords into every interview. “Tough on things and tough on the cause of things!”
It must have worked because in May I was last of 6 and this time I was 3rd of 4th candidates. Green Party 299 Liberal Democrats 125 Official Monster Raving Loony Party 60 Mary Campbell 51 Now I must work on my nodding & pointing skills in preparation for what ever happens next. Good luck to Lady Lilly The Pink on August 1st.
Lord Brockman

Brecon Calling

The Brecon and Radnorshire By-election will take place on Thursday 1st August. Lady Lily the Pink, our candidate, is all fired up and rearing to go in her Pink Loonymobile. I shall be moving into the area on Sunday 28th July to lend my support for the final thrust and breakthrough. Staying as a special guest of the Lindsey’s at our Welsh Headquarters, The Neuadd Arms Hotel, Llanwrtyd Wells, until Sunday 4th August. On the Thursday evening of the 1st before the count, we shall be holding our victory party in The Barley Mow, 1 West St Builth Wells. The count is in the Showground, Builth. On Saturday 3rd August we shall be holding a meet and greet at The Neuadd Arms. Come and meet Britains longest serving Party Political leader of 20 years, Howling ‘Laud’ Hope.

On another note its only 8 weeks to Conference Time, 26-27-28th September, once again we are back to Belper, Derbyshire, the scene of ‘The Belter in Belper’ 2018.  Again with the kind permission of Craig the Landlord of the George and Dragon in Bridge St, and the help of Dale Rowles, the Black Dog. The line up for the weekend is :- Friday – Gareth Ike, (yes Davids son). Gripper and the Gurnards. Loony Star Band with ‘Joe Jammer’, plus the worlds most disgusting act, ‘Badaxe Badaxe’, so good we named him twice. Warning, please don’t be offended by him, he means it!
Saturday :- The Big Fibbers, BB Black Dog Band, plus the fantastic Dr Diablo and the Rodent Show. Also other guests who may turn up, as they usually do. I shall be staying in The George as from Thursday 19th Sept, so as usual, anybody who wants to make a week of it, you won’t be on your own.
See you all there.
Howling ‘Laud’ Hope Loony Party Leader.

By-election for Evesham Town Council

Hot News from our special, special, chief, special, special, special, correspondent and candidate Barmy Lord Brockman
Due to an elected candidate being unable to take up their seat (May 2nd Local Council Elections) a by-election has been called for Evesham Town Council , (South Ward) 25/07/19.
Barmy Lord Brockman, who only failed by 8 votes to get elected in May, is once again  putting himself forward saying “Its only fair that people get a second chance to reject me or a second chance to put an Official Loony on the Council”.
Evesham South is a beautiful area blighted by abandoned trolleys from a local supermarket, I will combat this by attaching a bungee cord to all Morrison’s trolleys to facilitate a speedy return.
Many people would like to be able to vote for Non Of The Above on the ballot form, I’m afraid you can’t -but if you look at the ballot, you’ll see Barmy Lord Brockman at the top. My supporters have the option of voting for None Of The Below.”

Howling’s birthday party at Prince Arthur

A 77th birthday was held at Prince Arthur, Fleet for Howling Laud on the 16th June. The party also celebrated Howling’s twenty years as Leader of the Official Monster Raving Loony Party.

Howling visited the Prince Arthur in 1999, 20 years ago, and he made the Prince Arthur his local pub in 2005 when he moved to Fleet, frequenting 3000 times since.

Stuart Merricks, Prince Arthur Manager presented Howling with an inscribed silver tankard on behalf of JD Wetherspoon’s. Then a birthday cake was delivered to his table and everybody sang “Happy Birthday”, after which he gave a speech and sang “Mack the Knife” to rapturous applause!

A Message from Lily the Pink

Hellooo
Lady Lil here, I’ve been working hard to get the by-election campaign moving. . . I can tell you, its been a bit of a strain. . .
. . . but today I’m announcing the finalised Manicfesto for the B&R by-election

On Austerity:
1. To save money on office refurbishments for local MPs, it is proposed that office artwork, particularly cute photos will be taken with a phone camera and printed off at Boots chemist before blue tacking to the wall, invoices should be well under the £50 mark and therefore require no need to engage in complex and confusing accounting practices
2. The Welsh Assembly will be cut from 60 to 6 member and renamed the Welsh Ensemble
3. To save on ink, we will cut the number of letters in the alphabet, starting with N, H, S

On Equality:
1. In the interests of fairness and in alignment with Government, public sector workers will receive percentage increases received my MPS in previous year of austerity (10%) whilst MPs shall receive that of the nurses (1%)
2. Following the example of the Westminster bar – all bar tabs across the UK will be written off and everyone can start with a clean slate
3. All members of the public will be entitled to claim for anything that politicians claim for; as such everyone shall receive a free moat, trouser press and TV licence
On Brexit:
1. We will Send Noel Edmonds to negotiate Brexit because he understands Deal or No Deal.
2. There will be no need for a backstop to the Brexit negotiations; we’ll use Alec Stewart as wicket-keeper.
On Sport:
Man v Horse and Bog Snorkelling will be made Olympic sports
On Education;
All Schools would have a Jumble sale or fete or other fundraising event at least twice per month to help raise funds for those little extras such as Desks, Books, paper, pens , etc
On Defence:
We will ensure the next defence secretary is Welsh and entrust them with dealing with any leeks
On Climate:
1. All MPS will be relieved of their trousers, which will be sewn together and inflated to plug the hole in the ozone layer
2. We will declare an immediate climate emergency and then provide everyone with a bobble hat so we can continue to pull the wool over their eyes
On Tax:
Tax evasion loopholes shall be made available to all people, with tax havens accessible to all on a timeshare basis
On Social Care:
“Meals on Wheels” services will be replaced. The new service proposes to serve the meals on plates.

Photo Credit : Pip Morison