This by-election was caused by mysterious disappearance of No. 10’s Cheshire Cat David Cameron. So who better to replace him than Alisdair De Voil from Oxford, ‘The Mad Hatter’, who shouted “this is my tea party”, checked his watch, and made a dash for the nomination.
Our party leader Howling Laud arrived in Witney to support him a couple of days before the election, and was caught up in a film about ‘Political Party Leaders of Great Britain.’
‘The Mad Hatter’, Howling and Mark Stokes, a party activist from Shrivenham, toured the constituency mostly talking in French when they couldn’t remember what they were meant to be saying in English and supping from bottles that said “drink me!”. They ended up in a very nice public house called The New Inn, where they did seven impossible things just before breakfast.
Congratulations to The Mad Hatter for increasing his vote by 100% and coming 8th out of 14 candidates. We always knew it would be a tough Constituency, but it seems we are catching up fast with the Greens and Ukip who despite all their media attention, still only have one more M.P than us.
The night of the Count saw the arrival of the party faithful, ‘Nick the Flying Brick’, RU Seerius, Lady Helenbak, Chinners, and local supporters, George, Tom & Jerry.
Back to our candidate, didn’t he do well, 129 votes, coming 8th out of fourteen, and a big round of applause for all his efforts was heard around the hall.
We all agreed afterwards that it was a great success, and we’re quite looking forward to whenever and wherever the next one may be. Once again plaudits to ‘The Mad Hatter’ he did us proud, and thanks to Julian Bones the landlord of The Old Court Hotel for all his help and everybody else who voted for us.
Howling ‘Laud’ Hope
| Name of
|COURTS, Robert Alexander||The Conservative Party Candidate||17313
|LEFFMAN, Elizabeth Pendrill Raphael||Liberal Democrat||11611|
|ENRIGHT, Duncan Shaw Thomas||Labour Party||5765|
|SANDERS, Larry||Green Party||1363|
|BIRD, Kendrick Simon George commonly known as BIRD, Dickie||UKIP||1354|
|SALISBURY, Helen Rachel||National Health Action Party||433|
|SKIDMORE, Daniel James||Independent||151|
|DE VOIL, Alasdair Iain commonly known as HATTER, Mad||The Official Monster Raving Loony Party||129|
|WARD, Charles John Nicholas commonly known as WARD, Nicholas||Independent||93|
|BISHOP, David Laurence||Bus-Pass Elvis Party||61|
|JUG, Lord Toby||The Eccentric Party of Great Britain||59|
|MCKENZIE, Winston Truman||English Democrats – “Putting England First!”||52|
|ARNO, Emilia Rose||One Love Party||44|
|KNIGHT, Adam Digby||Independent||27|
Our Blackpool conference and Howling Laud’s record as the longest serving party leader of all time was covered in the Star Courier. They report that Howling Laud has seen off ‘the dirty dozen’ William Hague, Ian Duncan Smith, Michael Howard, David Cameron, Paddy Ashdown, Charles Kennedy, Menzies Campbell, Nick Clegg, Tony Blair, Gordon Brown and Ed Miliband, Nigel Farage and Dianne James!
It seems that many are not happy with the way Brexit is going and want a referendum on every dot and comma..The discussion goes further to decide whether we should have a Hard Brexit, or a Soft Brexit.
Loony Party policy on this is clear..we prefer Al dente Brexit.
Although Ready Brexit was an option….
Our 32nd Conference went as smoothly as it always does, I arrived in Blackpool 10 days before the event, just to iron out any mishaps or unforeseen difficulties. It was nice to see some early arrivals on the Thursday this year as well. There was but just one, but of no great circumstance. We didn’t have a cabinet to shuffle in. Apparently it got blown over in the high winds and got burnt, I never found out until the Thurs of the weekend. Luckily enough Vince Ripper was on hand to find another. Great to see him up and about after major heart surgery, we all agreed ‘he looked well’ and will be back with the ‘Rodent Rat’ show next year. Two years running now in Blackpool, I did two radio shows amongst other promotions, and our Blackpool Gazette feature was phenomenal, two whole pages of pictures and story. No wonder they want us back next year. Once again the town took to us with open arms on our open top bus tour.
That seems to have become one of the highlights of our modern day conference, thanks to Blackpool Transport and their star driver Tony Davies. The weekend’s entertainment was up to its usual standard, ‘The Full Fat Boogie Band’ on Friday night, excellent. ‘Chinners’ and ‘The Howling Laud’ both got up and did a spot with them, to the great excitement of all those that attended.
Saturday saw the grand photo shoot by ‘Dan Dan the Photo Man’ from the local press, before climbing aboard The Loonical Mystery Tour. Then back to party HQ ‘Uncle Toms Cabin’ for the world famous cabinet reshuffle, one again no splits in the cabinet but a door was heard to creak. Our leader retained his position, not like all the other so called political parties. Plus all other members came out with flying colours.
We even had two Elvis’s, ‘Paul Campbell’ the Welsh Elvis opened up Sat night, followed by the Big Fibbers, then Dales Rowles and his BB Blackdog Band followed by The Wattingers, all very very good. ‘Mr Badaxe’ then gave his usual rousing performance much to the delight of everyone. Not all over yet, the front door opened and in walked another Elvis, Eddie Vee had been performing professionally in Blackpool that very same night and insisted that he did a spot for us, well we weren’t about to say “no” were we. He also put in an excellent performance, with a stirring ovation, to finish off yet another wonderful ‘Loony Party Conference’ weekend.
Don’t forget we are the only Party that knows how to Party, if a smile was a vote, we’d win by a landslide!
All the best to our party member ‘The Mad Hatter’ who will be standing in the Witney By-election on Thurs 20th October, keep an eye out for him!
The Howling ‘Laud’
After the shock news today that Diane James of Ukip, recently elected, is standing down after 18 days , we can confirm that Alan ” Howlin Laud ” Hope who has been the elected leader of the Official Monster Raving Loony Party for 17 years IS NOT!
In a statement today Alan said that “he had all the authority he needed to see through the changes which he may have had planned….. if he had any”.
They came from far and wide, north, south, east and west…and some even further to attend the 2016 Loony Party (Nothing to Do with Politics) Conference to Blackpool.. so good we came here twice. www.loonyparty.com
And a great success it was to…
Special thanks must go to Uncle Toms Cabin, North Shore, Blackpool who hosted the event. A big thanks to all the staff who were amazing….
Thanks also to the local hotels who put up with us up to the early hours including The New Guilderoy Hotel and the Collingwood.
A very big thanks goes to Tony “Razors “Davies who arranged the ‘Booze Carouse’ in an open top bus on Sat.. I don’t think Blackpool quite knew what hit it, especially when The B.U.M.S’ from Wales did an impromptu dance out at a Weatherspoons pub. Followed by the annual Cabinet Reshuffle at Uncle Toms’s and a stirring speech by The Jersey Flyer (Chairman) and our annual roundup of the year by Alan Hope (Leader) including a recap of our successful Welsh assembly election campaign including our first ever T.V election Broadcast…
Thanks to all the bands, including The Full Fat Boogie Band who played on Fri.
The Wattingers, BB Blackdog ,The Big Fibbers, and finally a great performance from Badaxe , and not forgetting Jezebel who did a fantastic job as MC..A big thanks to Dale for organising the bands and entertainment on Sat. A big thanks to Eddie Vee who closed the entertainment with a couple of songs. Everyone agreed we had a fantastic weekend all round. A big thank you to everyone who came old members and quite a few new ones..
c.u. next year
Here is a full list of the candidates for the Witney by election including our own Mad Hatter.
|One Love Party||Emilia Arno|
|Bus-Pass Elvis Party||David Bishop|
|Official Monster Raving Loony Party||Mad Hatter|
|Eccentric Party||Lord Toby Jug|
|Liberal Democrat||Liz Leffman|
|English Democrats||Winston McKenzie|
|National Health Action||Helen Salisbury|
If by any chance you cannot make it to the Loony party Conference and you live within travelling distance of East Molesey you could always go down to the Poyntz Arms (Walton Road, East Molesey, KT8 0DP) on Fri 30th Sept to see the terrific Delta Ladies. Check out their reviews here deltaladies.com/reviews.