Monster Raving Loony Party stalwart, Mad Mike Young, is tossing his top hat into the ring for the upcoming Sheppey Central by-election. He will battle it out against Conservative Tina Booth, Labour’s Alan Henley and UKIP’s David Lloyd Jones. The election, which was triggered by the death of popular former mayor John Morris, will be voted on by residents in Eastchurch and Minster on October 16.
Mad Mike, of Parsonage Chase, Minster, has only announced a couple of the policies he plans to push through should he win such as taking Sheppey out of England and making it a part of Scotland. He would also like to see the ‘Mc’ taken out of McDonald’s.
The 63-year-old is no election newbie, having already attempted to win the Sittingbourne and Sheppey seat in three general elections for his party. Whilst in council elections there is no requirement to hand over a nonrefundable deposit, in general elections the fee is £500. For Mad Mike’s past three attempts at winning a Commons’ seat, bookmakers William Hill have sponsored him and came up with the cash.
Discussing the council by-election, Mike said: “We don’t have a battle bus for elections but I’ve got a battle bicycle. “I think in the by-election there’s going to be a Loony landslip.”
“As for the general election, it’s early days yet – anything can happen. But I promise my voters I will be there to stand up for them.”
The Loony Party 2014 Conference will be held on the 26th, 27th & 28th of September and will be held at The Ridgebourne Inn, Wellington Rd, Llandrindod Wells, Powys LD1 5NH, tel 01597 822 144 . This is the first time in the history of the party that the conference will be held in Wales.
The Loony Party’s own Monster Mash, in a bottle, Co-alition ale endorsed by CAMRA will be on sale and also Loony Party Memberships and merchandise will be available. There will be music on the Friday and Saturday Night. Buster and the Gonads and The Big Fibbers are confirmed. Also BBBlackdog , Buster and the Gonads and The hurricanes. We also will have The Morris dance group The b.u.m.s will be attending and not forgetting the famous Cabinet reshuffle. Nearest train station is Llandrindod wells with connections from Birmingham London and Cardiff. Hotels and B and B links
The Hampton Hotel
Llandrindod Wells, LD1 5HF
We are very pleased that Scotland has now, due to last nights neverendum, decided to continue as a valuable part of the United Kingdom..
It does however leave our forthcoming policy “UDI for Clacton – on -Sea” in tatters.
On the plus side we wont have to redesign our logo.
We propose, in order to keep everyone happy, Scotland will be independent, every other year. Simple, Easy, Effective
(Thanks to angus for this policy)
We have noticed a few things which are particular to the Scottish Neverendum Campaign. There are calls that in the event of a Yes Vote David Cameroon should resign,(why?) however if they Vote No does Alex Salmond and the fish resign?
Also If the vote is No, will Alex Salmond as he is already doing, blame the BBC and the Westminster Government for bullying and scaremongering?
When he talks a load of rubbish its political campaigning, when someone refutes his arguments “it’s all a conspiracy”.
But let’s get one thing clear if the Vote is No it should not raise its ugly head for at least another 300 years. I suspect however that if the vote is close we will be going through this scenario again in a few short years, and again , and again until Alex Salmond gets the result he wants. Hence the Scottish Neverendum.
When it comes to screaming out loud we in the Loony party have much more experience than Alex Salmond. (Re our former leader,the clue is in the name)
We can confirm that Alan Howlin “Laud ” Hope’s nomination has been accepted an he will be standing as our candidate at the forthcoming by election.
“I am thrilled to be standing as a candidate for the constituents of Clacton, which brings back many happy memories of my times here in the past” said Alan ” When I win we will put Clacton – on – Sea back as one of the top tourist attractions, and we will start by trying to arrange for our party conference to be held here in 2015″
Rumour has it ( I know this as we just started it) that The Yes for Scotland Campaign no longer want to use the Pound as their currency, due to the fact that it is being devalued so much as a result of the Scotland Yes campaign that its not worth bothering with anymore.
In order to stop all the problems of immigrants camping in Calais, we suggest that all illegal immigrants should wait until next Thurs, when Scotland Votes Yes to independence, then hightail it to Glasgow/Edinburgh. They can then sneak across the border unimpeded, until we build the wall..