Message from our Chairman

To set the record straight because rumours are already rife as to what has happened to me. I could not tell anyone because a) I was in hospital and b) I did not know all the facts myself!
On Friday 11th June at approximately 07.50 hrs I was shopping in St. Helier. I stopped to talk to a friend and suddenly a crushing pain enveloped my chest. I actually thought it was a bout of bad indigestion so drove home to relax. The pain persisted and later, at some time, the thought “heart trouble?” entered my mind so I drove to the pharmacy and shoved some aspirin down my throat. (This action, according to the doctors, saved my life). I did, eventually, go to the doctor who gave me a barrage of tests and I was admitted to the General Hospital Jersey. When a bed became available I was flown by our Air Ambulance to England and transferred to the John Radcliffe Hospital, Oxford, in an ambulance with the blue lights flashing and the sirens etc wailing. Great experience!
There I was slapped onto the operating table and they fiddled about inside me with wires, dye and heaven knows what else. The result of all this is that I now have a heart which is pumping strongly and my arteries are again without the need of a chimney sweep. I am at home in Jersey recovering.
So, If I could give anyone any advice it would be this. Buy some aspirin and keep it where you can access it easily. If you experience a pain in your chest don’t panic panic and keep as calm as you can and see a doctor right away. If you are unable to get there quickly take the aspirin. Try to remember what happened and when and write it down. Afterwards you are probably going to have to take pills every day for the rest of your life. Do what the doctors advise and above all keep a sense of loony humour as this will be your strength to overcome adversity.
I hope all of you are in fine fettle. The other method – though possibly inadvisable is to and get a load of alcohol down you as this will thin the blood and make it easier to pass through the blocked artery!
The Jersey Flyer

‘Learn to Lie’ – the Big Fibbers album review

Batley & Spen By-election

Howling Laud Hope our party leader is standing for the Batley & Spen by-election on the 1st July. This achievement is entirely due to our Gilly Nicholls, ably helped by Sir Archibald Stanton, collecting the ten nominations.
Howling’s election agent Nick the Incredible Flying Brick is seen here learning a thing or two from Harold Wilson just after submitting the papers. Photo taken by Sir Archibald Stanton.
Voters of Batley & Spen vote for Howling ‘Laud’ Hope – you know it makes sense!
Nick the Incredible Flying Brick

Making Political History

The ‘Social Democrat Party’ was formed in 1981, a year before ‘The Loony Party’ in 1982. SDP consisted of breakaway Labour members
Dr David Owen, Roy Jenkins, Shirley Williams and Bill Rogers. Some Conservatives joined in as time went by. They were going great guns until May1990. A by election was called in Bootle Liverpool, SDP expecting to do well, well, they didn’t do at all. Michael Carr- Labour won, but Monster Raving Loony 418, SDP 155 brought gasps of amazement from the whole political world. Dr David Owen was on TV next day saying that “the MRLP played no small part in his mind to wind the SDP party up”.
The story doesn’t end there, Michael Carr unfortunately passed away, so another Bootle by-election in Nov 1990. This time Labour held the seat, SDP didn’t stand, but our Monster Raving Loony Party got 310 – Lib Dems 291, once again smiles and smirks all around.
SDP didn’t really raise their heads again until 2019 in Peterborough, bets were flying would the loony beat them again. No not this time, SDP 135 – Loony112, not much in it. William Clouston the now leader of SDP was so pleased, it can’t happen again he said.
Well It has happened again in the recent By-election in Hartlepool May 2021 Monster Raving Loony Party108 – SDP 104.
Two more By-elections Looming shortly, Amersham and Chesham, Bucks. Batley and Spen Yorks. Myself, The Howling ‘Laud’, and William Clouston as party leaders, will have the same bet. Its all good fun !
Keep an eye on us.
Howling ‘Laud’ Hope – Loony Party Leader.

13 – Lucky for some! Election in Chessington South

All 48 councillor seats in Kingston Upon Thames are up for election in 2022, until one of the Lib Dems decided they had had enough and stepped down meaning a by-election on May 6th 2021 was declared for the ward in Chessington South. The Lib Dems choose a former Labour MP as their candidate and bizarrely Labour choose to field the son of the Lib Dem councillor that had just resigned! With Covid allowances coming into play, meaning only 2 signatures were required, the opportunity was too good to miss so The OFFICIAL Monster Raving Loony Party decided to put up 13 candidates, all regulars in the Lucky Rover Pub . . . the Lucky 13
A uniform in the form of a Santa outfit was chosen to reflect our policy of moving the Christmas Day people had missed out celebrating to May 6th! A Christmas Eve victory party was duly organised with an outdoor acoustic performance by local legend Robin Bibi and a posse from the Green party joined in the celebrations.
Christmas and Boxing Day came and went with the count being held on Sat 8th May at Kensington Olympia along with the London Mayor election count. After a nervous 20 minutes wait to get in (none of us had any ID with our commonly known names!) we were in and surveyed the growing pile of OFFICIAL Loony votes in the trays. We then realised that due to space restrictions, all our votes were in the same tray so they had to do a second count just for us!!

A heart-warming total of 92 votes were secured (see the breakdown elsewhere on this website) with our two brothers ‘winning’ with 1 vote apiece, whilst 6 of our 13 secured more votes each that the 7 obtained by the Trade Union & Socialist candidate!
Our congratulations go to the Returning Officer for his deadpan delivery of our party name . . . 13 times!

Arms were raised, cheers were made and backs were duly slapped for an election full of Loony records.
Needless to say I thank the stars of the show (the candidates) and the support of LandLADY LUCKY & LandLORD ROVER during the whole of this campaign.

The 2022 elections will see the more conventional approach with just 48 candidates . . . . with just one in each ward!

Hartlepool By-election

It’s a wonderful thing when seventeen years separate two visits but the hospitality and generosity remain the same!
I must thank my agent George Stuart aka Sir Adrian Wall and his wife Dotty for a first class welcome and all the regulars outside ‘The Bowline’ on the Marina for a great pre-election victory celebration. The weather was cold but the hospitality was warm. It was a great start to what turned out to be a long but enjoyable Thursday night.
All parliamentary by-election counts are different but Hartlepool count was quite exceptionally strange. It was most notable for the length of time the count took and by the end of it the exhaustion of the counting tellers, elections staff and Denise McGuckin the Returning Officer. The ballot verification didn’t happen till after three in the morning, and at this time I decided that the best course of action was to slip away back to my room in the Douglas Hotel for a couple of hours sleep.

Photo by Oliver Gerald

At seven in the morning a frazzled Denise McGuckin invited the candidates and election agents to the back of the stage where she showed us a pile of spoilt papers. She suggested to us that the Conservative landslide was so immense and that the hour was so late that there was surely no point in going through them and would we mind stepping up to the stage for the result. Feeling fresh as a daisy I skipped on claiming prize spot!
It was a shame to beat the ‘Freedom Party’ as they were a spirited and young posse. I’ve been told that I set a new record for the largest number of votes ever cast for any candidate in 14th place in a Parliamentary by-election in the United Kingdom!
Nick the Incredible Flying Brick

Results of the May 6th Elections 2021

Hartlepool Parliamentary by-Election
Nick the Incredible Flying Brick – 108

Local Government

  • Howling ‘Laud’ Hope Fleet Central, Hants – 71
  • Barmy Lord Brockman Evesham N+W – 88
  • Barmy Lord Brockman Worcester County – 163
  • Trevor Allman Greenwich West – 110
  • Whacky Whyte Witch B/way + C/wickham – 87
  • Sir Offa Ones Rocker Evesham South – 63
  • Miss young Powerhouse Fleet East, Hants – 123
  • Merv the Karaoke Kid Baguley Manchester – 54
  • Baron Von Thunderclap W/Sussex County – 122
  • Mr Badaxe Brancombe + N/Beeston, Notts – 50
  • Lord Cameron Brooklands Manchester – 51
  • Tony ‘Shannocks Poet’ Sherringham Norfolk – 45

Plus The Lucky 13 in Chessington South

  • Baron Von Auchenbach – 8
  • Undertaking Director Brunskill – 16
  • A.Gent Chinners – 12
  • Captain Coiley – 13
  • Casual Count of Corinthian – 6
  • Colonel Cramps – 14
  • Duke Diddy Dobbs – 8
  • Landlady Lucky – 2
  • Landlord Lucky – 3
  • Kingstonian Newt – 6
  • Lady Dave – 2
  • Robbie the Radical Recyclist – 1
  • Sam Squatch – 1

Great news – Sir Giles Greenwood, won a seat on the Kemberton, Bridgenorth Council. ‘Unopposed’.
Plus another of our long standing members ‘Monkey the Drummer’ stood for his local Residents Association in Molesey, Surrey, and won, beating the Conservative. He’s still pinching himself, can’t get over it!

So to sum up the situation our ‘Loony Party’ now holds 6 seats.
Howling ‘Laud’ Hope – Fleet Town, Hampshire
Baron Von Thunderclap – Bolney Parish, Sussex
Norm the Storm – W/Grinstead + Partridge Green
Sarah Mad Cow – Lower Carlton, Lincs
The Iconic Arty Pole – Great Carlton, Lincs
Sir Giles Greenwood – Kemberton, Bridgenorth

Jolly good show my friends, see you all at the conference in September. Until then – Loony On!
Howling ‘Laud’ Hope – Loony Party Leader

Chinners on the campaign trail

Our intrepid candidate Chinners has been very busy organising the loony candidates for the council elections in his area Kingston -upon -Thames.
Some of his manicfesto commitments include:

  • On the 21st of June we will reduce social distancing measurements. From this day, the Sun will be permitted to only be 92,957,000 miles from the Earth
  • Protecting the Green belt by renaming it to the black belt so no one messes with it.
  • Stop piling up tarmac on the roads in the form of speed humps and put it in the holes.

BUT more importantly he has managed to get 13. . . yes 13 candidates to stand all at the same place at the same time. A World 1st for Chinners and the loony Party

Well done Chinners . . .