The Official Monster Raving Loony Party

The campaign trail was set alight last Saturday when and the rest of his Loony team were touring the Constituency in their battlebus and towing their trailer.
Pictured  are L-R   Lucan The Big Cigar, Jimmy Duke of Earl, Baron Von Rainer of The Hill, Sir Archibald, supporter Paul Halloran, Gilly Nicholls, Johnny Ringo Chickadelphia and Mr Andrew Gummidge of Windsor.
They are looking forward to the Victory party this weekend at The Woodman Inn Batley Carr prior to the Election.

I, Alan ‘Howling Laud’ Hope, live in Fleet, N E Hants, so yes, in your constituency. I have been the leader of this party for the last 20 years, currently Britains longest serving party leader. We are the party that’s on your side no matter what ‘Political
Persuasion’ you may be. Please remember that the only wasted vote is one that’s not used. If you don’t usually vote, then vote unusually, vote for me. If you have ever thought, I want to vote for ‘none of the above’, I am none of the above. In this case I shall be in the middle of your voting slip, so am also none of the below.
So c’mon , lets see if we can get a couple of thousand votes between us, it wont win, but it will certainly shake them up. He’s behind you, you’d better get it right, or else!!!
Yours Pollingly
Howling ‘Laud’ Hope

This will be the sixth General Election in which I have stood as candidate in Sittingbourne & Sheppey, which is more than any of the other candidates and hence consider myself to be the “Father of the General Election”. As the most senior figure I am setting an example to the others.
Policies include;

• Free canned laughter for all folk from the jovial to the grave.
• Legalise mixed metaphors then we will lead the world in having the oyster at our feet.
• To improve pedestrian access to the West Country we will be buying a Stairway to Devon.

It’s election time, so once again it’s time to remind the voters that a vote for the OFFICIAL Monster Raving Loony Party, is no longer seen as a wasted vote as ‘The Only Wasted vote is one that isn’t used’
Surrey Comet story

Nicholas Robert Blunderbuss Green is standing for Kenilworth & Southam and is looking for a comfy seat in ‘The House’.
“If I get more that 499 votes I promise to run through the streets of the constituency naked.” If I don’t keep my promise I’d rather be ‘Dead in a Ditch’
Blunderbuss Manickfesto

This is the third time The Mid Beds Minx has contested the Mid Beds seat. She is rather concerned, as people seemed to be taking her seriously as she goes around the campaign trail. The Minx’s main aim, as in the previous elections, is to thoroughly annoy the party with the majority in the area. As in other elections, it seems to be working.
Everywhere she goes, she is told “You are the only sensible party out
there.” However, The Minx is pleased that this Tory heartland seems to be turning Loony. Resistance is futile.

What Ho! The Iconic Arty-Pole is the elected chairman of his local council and is standing for Louth and Horncastle for the third time.
Seen here with protector of dodo’s Baron Von Thunderclap (Mid Sussex) and a zombie formerly known as Chinners (Kingston and Surbiton)
As an ex member of the Teenage Party circa 63/64 his natural home is the Loony Party but has only been able to get actively involved in the last few years. Main interests include covert all trains to run on clockwork, this has proved successful in model trials. Selling socks in threes. Getting arts council support for Kazoo players as we hold a word record, and reducing the cost of making the 99p to under a pound.

Nick the Incredible Flying Brick is looking forward to winning Islington North. He will immediately abolish gravity the same day as the result, which lucky for him, is Friday 13th.
Policies:

• Islington MP’s will be coached in ‘Arsenalisation’ and be compelled to house Gunnersaurus Rex during the off-season at their parliamentary chambers.
• Highbury Square will be re-developed into an intergalactic space port.
• The Official Monster Raving Loony Party will create one thousand trillion (£1000,000,000,000,000) pounds of new money through quantitative easing and give everyone free internet, housing and restaurant bills, for ever. Why vote for anyone else when you are guaranteed free lunch for all time with the the Incredible Flying Brick.
• Return the British currency to pounds, shillings, pence, farthings and groats, with rural parts of London such as Hackney returning to trade in shiny beads.
• All the UK remaining gold reserves will be placed on the last race at the Epsom Derby in a bid to cancel the national debt.