The Office of National Statistics calculate all the economic indicators to arrive at the figure for GDP, which is important as a guide to how well the economy is doing. All Governments use these figures including (when we get into Power) the Loony Party.
However they are now including estimates from income of Drug dealing and Prostitution to help gain an accurate figure.
We in the Loony party would also include estimates of incomes from:
- Rape and Pillage
- Parking Ticket receipts
- Nector points and Tesco loyalty card receipts
You know it makes sense
Wow, what a conference, two reasons firstly to remember this one, it was our 30th and the 15th that our leader Howling ‘Laud’ Hope had officiated at. Some said that this was the best ever, but they had not been to them all to form an overall opinion, but I will agree that this was up there with the best.
Our special thanks go to Chris ‘Lord Offa of the Dykes’ Rogers and ‘Lady Catherine’ for organising the Venue and then to Charlie ‘What a Wonderful Landlord’, Anya, and the rest of the staff for making us most welcome. And of course, not forgetting Pauline, she was not with us in soul, but was in spirit, I’m sure. The whole weekend was performed in her memory.
I arrived on Sunday 21st Sept just to get things up and running locally, inviting newspapers, tv, radio, and generally dealing with the media. Also going round town and making it generally known that we are there, which always helps to break the ice. Hence organising the annual Saturday afternoon pub crawl, where the Metropole Hotel, Dickens Wine Bar, Hampton Hotel, Llanarch Arms, The Log Cabin and the Conservative Club in that order, all made us very welcome. We were escorted around by ‘The Bums’ the ‘Border Urban Morris Side’ playing there style of music and dancing in the street!
The music content over the conference was up to its usual standard, excellent. The Big Fibbers and Badaxe performing Friday night, with Gripper and the Gurnards featuring BB black Dogs ‘Dale Rowles’ & Molly along with the most amazing young Rock ‘n’ Roll that you have ever heard, ‘The Hurricanes’ featuring Zack, OJ and Jason still in their teens, on the Saturday night. A local Welsh group whom I’m sure wont stay local for long, the world awaits them! And of course our leader getting up and doing his usual spot. The Bums all being musicians in their own right, giving improptu fill ins, when necessary to keep the ball rolling!
The turn out itself was very interesting, the Rochdale Loonies, the Manchester Loonies, Lincolnshire, the Gower Loonies, Birmingham, Derbyshire, Hampshire, Berkshire and Surrey and Blackpool plus a very strong contingent of various other Welsh members especially from Llanwrtyd Wells, Builth, Llandovery, if i’ve missed anybody I’m sorry. All were in attendance for the annual Cabinet Reshuffle, another great success, as was the leaders speech, all taking place after the pub crawl. It was especially great to see Dangerous Dave, he lives Gloucestershire way now, but was at our very first conference in 1984, he stood in Spellthorpe in Middlesex for a general election. All the usual suspects were there there, ‘Baron Von Thunderclap’, The ‘Flying Brick’, Mr R.U. Seerius, ,Lady HelenBack’, Lily the Pink, Knigel Knapp, Captain Chapplington Smythe, Rear Admiral, Fellatio Hornblower, Somebody called Cameron, and many more, who all joined in and sampled our own brew called ‘Monster Mash’ which was on sale courtesy of the Landlord.
Sunday, I stayed on another day to meet up with the Radnorshire CAMRA people who were interested in trying our Ale, and are looking into maybe getting a Welsh brewery to join in with our Co-ALE-ition range, plus a Welsh Cider, more on this as it happens !
All in all, as I said a very successful conference, and all looking forward to the next one, plans are ahead for it to be in Blackpool next year, I am going up on Mon 20th Oct for 5 days to see what can be arranged and will be meeting up with the Blackpool Gang, Tony Davies, Vince Cornwall, Knorra Batty, Andy Winneris and Little Lord Fauntleroy.
Before then though were all off to Clacton-on-Sea for the By-election on Thurs 9th Oct, I am the candidate and am moving in up there tomorrow Thurs 2nd , the others will be joining me next Tues and Wed. Remember, no matter how popular Nigel Farrage and his UKIP are, they have no more members of parliament than us ! ! ! !
The Howling ‘Laud
Yet again ..another great Conference over, and what a great time was had.. Not a word regarding politics was mentioned, (You know it makes sense) Not one of our candidates defected to UKIP and no one resigned due to dubious behaviour, and as usual lots of great entertainment. check here for pics and further details over the next few days.
Many thanks to Charlie at the Ridgebourne Inn, Llandrindod Wells and to all our bands including Dale and Mollyfrom BB Blackdog, Gripper and the gonads, Badaxe, The Big Fibbers, and finally to The Hurricanes… what a great band..Also a big thankyou to The B.U.M’s who gave us great dancing and great entertainment. Thanks for coming and hope to see you all and more next year.
Monster Raving Loony Party stalwart, Mad Mike Young, is tossing his top hat into the ring for the upcoming Sheppey Central by-election. He will battle it out against Conservative Tina Booth, Labour’s Alan Henley and UKIP’s David Lloyd Jones. The election, which was triggered by the death of popular former mayor John Morris, will be voted on by residents in Eastchurch and Minster on October 16.
Mad Mike, of Parsonage Chase, Minster, has only announced a couple of the policies he plans to push through should he win such as taking Sheppey out of England and making it a part of Scotland. He would also like to see the ‘Mc’ taken out of McDonald’s.
The 63-year-old is no election newbie, having already attempted to win the Sittingbourne and Sheppey seat in three general elections for his party. Whilst in council elections there is no requirement to hand over a nonrefundable deposit, in general elections the fee is £500. For Mad Mike’s past three attempts at winning a Commons’ seat, bookmakers William Hill have sponsored him and came up with the cash.
Discussing the council by-election, Mike said: “We don’t have a battle bus for elections but I’ve got a battle bicycle. “I think in the by-election there’s going to be a Loony landslip.”
“As for the general election, it’s early days yet – anything can happen. But I promise my voters I will be there to stand up for them.”
The Loony Party 2014 Conference will be held on the 26th, 27th & 28th of September and will be held at The Ridgebourne Inn, Wellington Rd, Llandrindod Wells, Powys LD1 5NH, tel 01597 822 144 . This is the first time in the history of the party that the conference will be held in Wales.
The Loony Party’s own Monster Mash, in a bottle, Co-alition ale endorsed by CAMRA will be on sale and also Loony Party Memberships and merchandise will be available. There will be music on the Friday and Saturday Night. Buster and the Gonads and The Big Fibbers are confirmed. Also BBBlackdog , Buster and the Gonads and The hurricanes. We also will have The Morris dance group The b.u.m.s will be attending and not forgetting the famous Cabinet reshuffle. Nearest train station is Llandrindod wells with connections from Birmingham London and Cardiff. Hotels and B and B links
The Hampton Hotel
Llandrindod Wells, LD1 5HF
We are very pleased that Scotland has now, due to last nights neverendum, decided to continue as a valuable part of the United Kingdom..
It does however leave our forthcoming policy “UDI for Clacton – on -Sea” in tatters.
On the plus side we wont have to redesign our logo.
We propose, in order to keep everyone happy, Scotland will be independent, every other year. Simple, Easy, Effective
(Thanks to angus for this policy)
We have noticed a few things which are particular to the Scottish Neverendum Campaign. There are calls that in the event of a Yes Vote David Cameroon should resign,(why?) however if they Vote No does Alex Salmond and the fish resign?
Also If the vote is No, will Alex Salmond as he is already doing, blame the BBC and the Westminster Government for bullying and scaremongering?
When he talks a load of rubbish its political campaigning, when someone refutes his arguments “it’s all a conspiracy”.
But let’s get one thing clear if the Vote is No it should not raise its ugly head for at least another 300 years. I suspect however that if the vote is close we will be going through this scenario again in a few short years, and again , and again until Alex Salmond gets the result he wants. Hence the Scottish Neverendum.
When it comes to screaming out loud we in the Loony party have much more experience than Alex Salmond. (Re our former leader,the clue is in the name)